The WWE-inspired State of Emergency, Coming Soon to an America Near You!
A brief examination into how the Political Entertainment Complex works from a lifelong fan.
I used to love the WWE. Today, the behavior of Donald Trump and Elon Musk more similarly match the behavior of professional wrestlers and cartoon characters than serious politicians or rational businessmen. This is, of course, not particularly revelatory — read anything they write, from the liberal perspective, and it’s abundantly clear they’re not sending their best.
Still, one of the things that frustrated me most when I was a fan of the WWE was knowing, in my heart of hearts, I could’ve written their storylines better. And so, I used to daydream, looking at WWE Job Postings, seeing if they needed any writers-for-hire when I was only 12 years old.
Unfortunately, I knew that they wouldn’t be hiring me, a child, any time soon — so I did what anyone would’ve done and started my own professional wrestling company and persona.
First, I would need a myth upon which to build a backstory. From there, I could build a broader foundation and create something that seemed legitimate — at least legitimate in the mind of a child and his friends.
So, I started my very first Web of Corporations and Publications, all meant to further legitimize the story I was building: the story of me as a successful businessman and wrestling magnate (as a 12 year old). These storytelling assets included BWE, my wrestling company, and K-S Magazine, my first publication (the initials of which remain entirely unclear to me). Together, these were the first subsidiary holdings of the Cruise Corporation. I memorialized my work — or, the work of Hunter Cruise, wink wink — in a pamphlet I made in the fifth grade:
Some people (most?) might think it’s strange for a fifth grader to be writing about his motivation being “power and money,” but from my perspective, it remains a solid parody of Vince McMahon and of American capitalism more broadly. I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was saying was, from the mouth of a child, complete gibberish. Still, I enjoyed creating that world. I was entertained.
I think my motivation was power and money. I owned and still own 6 corps. I probly make $20 a week month year. Its a lot to me. I probly saved 10¢. But to me, like I say, not a penny earned is a penny saved, I say a penny earned is a penny earned. If you dont save it thats your fault.
Hunter Cruise, Chairman of BWE
Today, I have to admit to the reader, watching how things have unfolded since the 2024 election, I’ve been left a little numb. I’ve been sitting here, thinking to myself, watching the tactics of professional wrestling being utilized to engross the American public into the storyline of Trump and MAGA and Musk and War: I could write this better myself.
Still, I don’t expect the Trump administration will be offering me a job anytime soon. They don’t seem particularly interested in doing things well; in fact, they seem more interested in breaking things. And, just last month, Roger Stone told me to go fuck myself. So I’m not in their good graces, and that’s alright with me.
Now, I should be very clear: What I discovered later, after years of daydreamed-anxiety about my possible future as a WWE writer, is that they want us to feel as though we could write a better storyline.
We always have a better path, the best path, paved for our favorite characters. Sometimes, our dreamed storylines come true, but more often, they do not. Often, the storylines seem senseless and annoying, but still, they’re entertaining. Ultimately, this constantly-moving-goalpost is how they get you to keep tuning in.
Does that sound familiar?
To be clear, I don’t look down on this kind of entertainment. During my years as a WWE fan, I got to attend a handful of incredible live shows. I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin, my favorite wrester, in my hometown of Binghamton, and I saw Edge defeat John Cena for the world title after cashing in his Money in the Bank contract at New Years Revolution, moments after John Cena had successfully defended the belt in an Elimination Chamber match. And, I also saw, live, Vince McMahon blow himself up in a limousine.
After the limousine explosion, Donald Trump reportedly called McMahon to ask if he was okay. Now, if I can quickly interject: whether or not Trump actually did this is beside the point. You might think it’s “funny” that he “fell for it.” Instead, the point is: Trump successfully engaged with the storyline, and lodged himself into yet another Moment in Time for thousands of people — fans of the WWE. This is his specialty. Look at his career.
Unfortunately, the limo-death storyline was quickly abandoned after WWE superstar Chris Benoit murdered his wife and youngest son.
Today, the Political Entertainment Complex, from left-wing-to-right-wing, resembles the WWE and its embrace of unreality more than ever.
For my part, I’ve continued the tradition of owning several fake “corporations.” Even as an adult, I can’t seem to shake this thing — it seems to me to be too powerful of a storytelling device, to create entities which seem legitimate, as a vehicle for self-expression. It seems like an exceptionally effective method through which to parody the absurdity of our time or, occasionally, to position myself as Very Serious Indeed.
I will be writing more about this in the coming months and years.
Included in my current Web of Corporations and Publications is MovieViral.com, which I co-founded in 2009 after the the viral marketing campaign for Cloverfield. It was clear to me at the time, even though I was only 15, that I was on the cutting edge of something, a different kind of immersive storytelling. And so, a few months after co-founding MovieViral.com, when I was just 16 years old, I found myself quoted in the L.A. Times as the publication’s editor-in-chief in an article about District 9. My instincts were right: I was on the cutting edge of something. Needless to say, the journalist didn’t know I was a child — I suppose my motivation was power and money.
In the past, I’ve written about the similarities between Trump, and WWE, and Alternate Reality Games (ARGs). These games and storylines allow players to participate in extensive world-building content, which exists outside of the primary piece of work (or, increasingly, our shared reality). This approach to politics appears to be accelerating, and it’s not clear to me the left truly understands what’s happening. The liberal establishment is still operating in a Post-WWII Reality Tunnel, while a new collective Reality Tunnel is being formed, shaped by the far right, through propaganda and immersive storytelling. Whether or not the source of this far right storytelling is information, disinformation, or misinformation is, quite honestly, entirely beside the point. The story is being told, and the Reality Tunnel is emergent.
We would do well to remember Hulk Hogan appeared at the Republican National Convention and Linda McMahon, Vince McMahon’s wife, is set to take control of the Department of Education.
This is all very dumb.
So dumb, in fact, I’m left thinking to myself: I could surely write this better myself!
But, that’s my liberal brain.
Instead, let me try my instincts. Let me try to guess, like I would for a WWE storyline or a well-crafted ARG, where this thing is going. I will not be providing evidence, because this is not a claim based on evidence. It is a projection based on intuition.
The Planned State of Emergency
All signs point to the declaration of a national emergency, during which time extreme measures can be taken by the regime. It’s unclear to me the speed at which they will pursue this route. It could be rapidly, in a shock-and-awe approach, or slowly, after sufficiently suppressing the primary powers remaining in the hands of the opposition — like the right to vote, or equal justice under the law, or the right to assemble in protest.
The liberal brain says it won’t get that bad.
But, of course, the last time around he tried to hang his own vice president. He asked his secretary of defense if they could shoot American protesters in the legs. And so on.
His mannerisms and speech pattern are objectively funny — I know, because my impression of him always gets big laughs. But this threat, of which he is simply the tip of the spear, appears to be deadly serious.
And so, my instincts tell me that Trump and his regime are intent on declaring a state of emergency, to further consolidate power, and to take extrajudicial steps toward assuming full autocratic control of the most powerful government (see: military) humanity has ever known.
What will the regime’s reason be?
Urban violence? The border? Foreign drones? Aliens?
Who will remain silent?
Who will speak out?
Perhaps these questions will never need to be answered. Perhaps the incoming regime is more incompetent than I imagine. Still, instinctually, I feel a need to publish these thoughts.
My worry is, today, that we will follow the developments of these maybe-imminent Historic Events as spectators, like fans of the WWE, rather than participants, citizens of this great American democracy. The tactics being utilized by the political right overtly match the tactics used by past autocrats and authoritarians, including methods to suppress resistance and spread anger and isolation. This is well documented.
During such a time, it is necessary for us to protect our minds and find our communities.
If this thing goes off the rails, we would do well to be prepared.
Smithville, NY
January 2025
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